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Officejet not picking up paper

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I have an HP Officejet Pro 8000 and it's been working totally fine for a few years now (aside from the ink draining my life savings).

And BOOM all of a sudden, I'm printing this single page with normal paper and it spits out half printed and then two more papers are crammed in the thing with ink smeared all over. I didn't even touch it or do anything different than usual.

So obviously I pull out the crap paper and try to reprint. 

It didn't print because it said there was no paper. Well there was a lot of **bleep**ing paper. So I readjusted everything, fanned out the paper all nice because you know how sometimes printers are picky as **bleep**. Usually that does the trick.

Plot twist: It didn't!

At this point I'm still thinking, oh you know, no big deal, it'll figure it's **bleep** out eventually. Flash forward: I'm sitting here now right next to this sad piece of plastic technology, ripped papers strewn about, dusty plastic parts all around, feeling miserable. Out of paper light still flashing.

I did all of the obvious attempts at remedying the problem: turning it off and on, unplugging, removing the cords and putting them back (for some reason that is the only advice I can so far get out of hp [call support, videos, articles], which, no **bleep**, I've used a piece of technology before)

I've cleaned off the rollers in the back, the little ones and the two bigger ones. They're still moving with no problems. Everything APPEARS to be functioning properly but I never really looked at it very closely when it was working.

I suspect the two larger rollers are what are supposed to be pushing the paper off the stack? If that is correct, it's not dropping down to do that? Anyway, that's all I've got so far, I'm going to keep trying to figure it out. But please help if you can! What is wrong?? This is crazy! I just want to print my stupid little things.

 


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